Not Today
by BlinkByou
Summary: He used to be here with me, just us together. But no, not today. R


I stopped by his house today. Like always there are flowers in the yard right next to the neatly trimmed grass.

But there are extra flowers today.

Lying on the sidewalk are baseball bats and balls. There is a bike with no one's name on it and a popsicle stick without the popsicle. They belong to his three little brothers who are always playing out in the sun. Never inside, they are.

But they aren't outside today.

I see his neighbors sitting quietly on their porches. They are friendly people. Always smiling, laughing, and taking care of the neighborhood young. The elders especially.

But they aren't smiling today.

In his driveway is a red car. His birthday car. He worked hard for three summers in a row to earn that car. He deserved it. And he knew, and he decorated it like he wanted; despite his parents requests. There are numerous bumper stickers and emblems on his car. It's his baby.

But he's not driving it today.

I make my way pass an old hobby store. In the windows are childhood toys. Cars, dolls, games and weird objects that often boggle my mind. The doors are always opened.

But they aren't open today.

I make my way to the beach. Our beach. It's where we first kissed. It's where I told him I loved him. It's where he told me he loved me. The beach is always so beautiful and peaceful.

But it feels uncomfortable today.

I walk past the beach and make my way to my favorite tree. The place where I met him. The place where we first smiled at each other. The place where he vowed to protect me forever and ever when I was only six years old. The place where I sprained my ankle and he carried me back home, despite us being the same weight. The place where I always meet him every Saturday morning just to talk.

But he isn't here today.

And I look to the clouds for an answer before I turn to leave. I ask them to change this fate. I ask for a chance to go back in time so I can lay my head against his chest and hear his heartbeat. So I can hear him inhale and exhale, my head under his chin.

But he isn't breathing today.

And I curse the flowers sitting on his porch. The cards attached to them are filled with words of sympathy and prayers for his family.

I curse the childhood toys that he used to play with just to make his brothers happy. The toys he'll never touch again and the smile his brothers will never see again.

I curse the quiet homes of his neighbors who's hearts are filled with sadness and despair for the young boy who always held a smile on his face. The boy who always laughed and hugged people to make them feel better, even when he was hurting himself.

I curse his mangled car that sits in his driveway; a drop-off from the junk yard. It's too wrecked to save it. It was too weak to save him.

I curse the hobby store he used to work long hours at to help pay his father's medical bills. The owner of the shop was the last person who ever saw him breathing. He left for work like always, with a smile on his face and a skip to his step. Today it's closed and the owner is not there. He's with the rest of us.

I curse the beach and its memories. My eyes tear up as I remember his last words to me. He told me he'd meet me at the beach; like always. And he told me he loved me. And I told him I loved him back. And then I heard a noise on the other end of the line, and a scream…and then just like that, he was gone.

I curse the tree and its nightmares, because in the distance I can see a building. It's gated and closed off but it's still there. And inside is man who continues to swear it was an accident. That he hadn't drank too much. That it was a mistake.

All these sights and all these sounds are memories now. The flowers have died and the little boys have all but forgotten him. His neighbors are smiling and his car no longer exists. A new boy works at the hobby store and the beach is filled with laughter. Our tree still remains and the man no longer sits in the gated building pleading his innocence.

But I'm still here.

"Hey Kairi….where do you see yourself in ten years?" He asked me, the night he died.

I didn't have an answer for him, because I didn't know then. But now I do.

"Sora…in ten years…I'll be by our tree on a Saturday morning. Just like always. So meet me there…"

But he's not coming back.

No, not today.

~*~

A/N: This is something I wrote about some people I knew…I don't know why I'm posting it, because it's personal. But whatever. I know I haven't updated The Black Petal in about two months…? Anyhow, I'll be updating it sometime after December 17th because that's when I get off my break. I'll probably write two or three chapters during that time so It won't be a very long wait.

Sorry to all my reviewers who hate my depressing works, that's just how I am. : ) I'm morbid.


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